Click here to pre-order the book for April 2018. It has 60 recipes: I’m talkin’ breakfasts, meals, sweets and treats. Did I use the same vulgar, inappropriate language I use on my blog? You fucking know that I did. You didn’t take the photos yourself did you, Shannon? Because your photos are pieces of shit. Ha! … Read More

My literary dick-punch to the clean eating craze: for Glamour UK

You don’t need to be on a diet to be healthy, and there is nothing dirty about food (unless you eat a donut stuck around someone’s knob, that would be a bit dirty). “Many clean-eating advocates make the nonsensical declaration that ‘it’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle’. Umm, you’re not allowed to eat certain … Read More

Chocolate Goo-Goo Cake

Thigh gaps, you’ve got nothing on cake gaps. Just look at that sexy motherfucker. I want to nestle my face in there and go to town. Chocolate cake is one of life’s winners, but with a fucktonne of sugar, flour and oil, it might pork you up the ring-piece if you overdo it. So, if … Read More

Sweet Meaty Balls

I’m not a paleo-dudette. I’m pretty sure if ancient humans had wandered out of their snug little caves and saw a mother-fucking bag of M&Ms on the terrain, their seasonal vegetables would have hit the ground faster than a drunk girl in stilettos. But one thing I really dig about the paleo scene is the … Read More

Most Popular Post

A few years ago coconut oil was fucking everywhere. Got a boil? Get some fucking coconut oil on it, mate. Yellow teeth? Shit, that’s ‘cos you’re not brushing with coconut oil. Oh, no you have the AIDS? Oh, don’t listen to your doctor and start anti-viral meds, I’m sure some coconut oil would sort that … Read More