Shannon's Kitchen

healthy food. inappropriate language. zero fucks given.

Image

Do you like salted caramel? If not, then please punch yourself in the face for me, and promptly leave. For everyone else, read on, for here is a healthy take on salted caramel with chocolate, in ball form. Hell yeah. Talk about ticking boxes. These sticky little legends are incredibly fast to make, high in antioxidants, minerals and protein, and contain no added sugar (they use the beautiful sweetness of natural dates).  Shannon’s Chocolate Salty Balls will easily be the tastiest balls you will ever have near your face, I promise.


 Ingredients:

– 10 medjool dates, pitted and halved

– 1 tablespoon coconut oil

– 2 tablespoons almond butter

– 2 tablespoons peanut butter (get a good quality one: the only ingredient should be peanuts)

– 1 tablespoon cacao powder

– 1 teaspoon vanilla extract (or essence)

– 2 tablespoons LSA mix (at the supermarket, it’s a mix of linseeds, sunflower seeds, and almonds in a dusty form packed with nutrients including omega-3 fatty acids) or you can use almond meal

– 1/8 teaspoon nutmeg (highly precise, don’t let me down here, people)

– 1/4 teaspoon ground rock salt (do not omit the salt, unless you want to lose the respect of me and your tastebuds. Regular salt is fine if you don’t have the rock salt)

– handful of desiccated coconut to roll the balls in at the end. Otherwise when handling these sexy balls you will end up with ball-ooze all over your hands and that just will not do. Unless that’s how you roll, in which case, ball-ooze yourself up).


 Let’s play ball:

– put all ingredients except the coconut into a food processor and give it some absolute revving. This mixture is very sticky so don’t freak out

– when the mixture is nice and gooey and blended, roll the mixture into balls. I’m not going to judge the size of the balls you produce – we are all different so don’t be self-conscious. Just roll your balls and be done with it. Then rub them or dip them or drag them through the desiccated coconut so they have a nice little ‘fuzzy’ coating

– they are best served refrigerated so bang your balls in the fridge for 15 or 20 minutes. Don’t worry – they won’t shrink.

– pop one of Shannon’s Chocolate Salty Balls in your mouth, and hey – if you can fit two in your mouth, I salute you.


 I know you want one,

Shannon x

PS: A variation on this recipe: Instead of using almond butter, sub in more peanut butter. That’s right. And instead of rolling those little bastards in coconut, rub on some smooshed-up salted, roasted peanuts. Yes, they will look like Barry White’s testes dipped in a bag of grated parmesan, but they sure as shit won’t taste like it

19 thoughts on “Shannon’s Chocolate Salty Balls

  1. Dee says:

    What are the nutritional values? You’ve missed out the most important bit!

    1. Shannon says:

      Hi there!
      Nutritional values are important, however the focus of this site is on a balanced, varied diet for health rather than counting kilojoules/proteins/fats/carbs. I can calculate the macronutrient and energy values of Shannon’s Chocolate Salty Balls for you if you would like? Thanks for your interest 🙂

  2. Anika says:

    BOOM! No butter, no sugar, just wholesome real ingredients…that’s gotta be good for you!
    PS: My tastebuds and my soon-to-be-shrinking arse say muchos grazias signorita

  3. Dawn says:

    It’s been a looooooong time since i had balls in my mouth, and these are delicious. I may just do it again, thanks Shannon!

    1. Shannon says:

      Haha! I’m thrilled to have reignited your passion for balls 😀

  4. echam25 says:

    I’m intolerant to fructose (mildly) and while I seem to be fine with small amounts spaced far apart, straight out fruit gives me the shits. Any alternative to figs? I want saltyn balls in my mouth bad!

    1. Shannon says:

      You poor sausage! Fructose free can be a bitch, but good on you for realising and dealing with it.
      Instead of the dates, you could try using chia seeds and rice malt syrup (or whatever fructose-free sweetener you like)? The chia seeds should help it goo up and stick.
      Here is a date free recipe from The Well Nurse http://thewellnurse.net/2014/12/christmas-cacao-bliss-balls/
      Good luck! Everyone deserves salty balls in their mouth!

  5. Tobias says:

    The two balls on the left of the picture appear to be slightly egg shaped (elliptical for you grammar gurus out there). Should I be concerned if my balls are not perfectly spherical (which, by the way, is one excellent word!)? I’ve also tried saying your name whilst (another great word!) stuffing these salt-laden bastards in my mouth but end up spraying the contents everywhere. Is this normal?

    Yours, spherically,

    Tobias
    An Englishman from England (The original one) no less.

    1. Shannon says:

      There could be cause for concern in the event of misshapen balls. Give them a good fondle and try to ascertain a cause. If in doubt, seek a second opinion.
      As for the oral spraying on enunciating – you are doing it wrong. Try to cup the ball(s) within your oral cavity and protect them with the lips to avoid this issue at the next stuffing.
      The best word in your post was, in my humble opinion, your name. Tobias. How exceptional.
      Best wishes, from Shannon of Shannon’s Kitchen from Australia (the stolen one)

  6. Tobias says:

    Not even a made up one either! Thanks!

    🙂

    Keep blogging!

    P.s. Sorry about the Empire shit. I suspect we got carried away with our ‘small country’ complex and started picking on the bigger fuckers to make up for our lack of ‘size’. I think we’re over it now.

    God save the Queen and whatnot.

  7. Claire says:

    We don’t have a food processor so I smashed the dates into a goopy mush before putting them in the bowl and using a fork to mix it all up. Worked a treat. These are fucking delicious.

  8. Colin Davis says:

    Love your site… a few questions to make sure I made my balls correctly.

    How big are dates in Australia? 10 seemed fairly low and it made this amount of goop:

    Is that the right amount of goop. They made 5 roughly golf-ball sized nuggets of awesomeness.

    1. Shannon says:

      My batch makes roughly 10 balls, but they’re smaller than a golf ball (I make them with about a 1 inch diameter).
      The fresh Medjool dates here are pretty huge. Next time I make them, I will weigh the dates for more precision for y’all xx

  9. Colin Davis says:

    Thanks – if you can also measure (like cups or ml) that would help too. I don’t have a scale at home. :/

  10. lou says:

    So I made these, and feed them to my friends, none of whom give a fig about sugar content or sat fat levels and they FRIGGIN’ loved them. They were amazed there where no health implications to the consumption of these “truffles”.
    Good work Shannon.

    1. Shannon says:

      HOORAY! Excellent work, Lou x

  11. Hannah says:

    You, madam, have just about saved my life with these.
    I’m on a mental diet to try and help with my ME/CFS and thought everything would be bad forever.
    Then BAM! Chocolate salty balls!!

    1. Shannon says:

      Fucking HOORAY! I LOVE these balls!! xxx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s