Shannon's Kitchen

healthy food. inappropriate language. zero fucks given.

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Chocolate cake: one of life’s winners. But with a fucktonne of sugar, flour and oil, it might pork you up the ring-piece if you overdo it. So, if you would rather take your health risks in the form of binge drinking, fries and pingers, then making your chocolate cake more nutritious could be a goer. Chocolate Goo-Goo Cake has less sugar, is wheat-free, has more protein and healthy fats, and is bloody tasty and moist. In fact, its moisture content could rival a dirty Aussie bloke’s crotch in Thailand. Like the double entendre there? So bloody clever. Now cake fans, it’s cake time. Get a load of her:

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 Ingredients:

The cake:

– 3 cups almond meal

– 2 teaspoons baking powder

– 1/3 cup cacao powder

– 1 teaspoon salt

– 1/2 cup melted coconut oil (or butter or macadamia oil)

– 1/2 cup milk (rice, coconut, dairy, soy, whatever the fuck you like)

– 5 tablespoons maple syrup (or honey or rice malt syrup)

– 3 tablespoons yoghurt (I like CoYo – dairy-free coconut yoghurt, it tastes like sexual relations if sexual relations tasted coconutty and awesome)

– 4 eggs, lightly beaten

The frosting-goo:

– 100gm good quality chocolate (I get stiffies for PANA chocolate, matter of fact I’ve got one now)

– 1/3 cup coconut cream (or normal cream)

– 3 tablespoons peanut butter (not essential, but awesome)

– pinch of salt.. be generous


 How to go Goo-Goo:

– preheat the oven to 160

– pop the almond meal, cacao powder, salt and baking powder in a large bowl and stir it all around like a crazy-mofo

– then add in all the wet ingredients and give it another good crazy-mofo stir. It will form a thicker batter than a conventional cake, so don’t think you’ve balls-ed it up, you haven’t

– use a round 20cm cake tin, and grease and flour it (or line it with baking paper) and spoon that chocolatey goodness into the tin

– bang it in the oven for about 35-40 minutes. Keep an eye on that fucker. Almond meal is more sensitive than flour

– let that baby cool on a cake rack, and make the frosting next

– melt the chocolate and peanut butter in a bowl over a simmering saucepan of water. Or chuck it in the microwave, I give zero fucks

– at the same time, gently heat the cream in another saucepan. I’m not sure the microwave would work for this. Mum? What do you reckon? MUM!

– when the cream is warm, and the chocolate and peanut butter have melted and gotten all up in each other’s business, mix it all together. Then sprinkle some salt over it and stir that through

– now get that frosting goo onto that sexy cake

– note that you now are the proud owner of a stiffie and a fucking awesome chocolate cake. Go forth and conquer


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 Get stuck into it, friends,

Shannon x

11 thoughts on “Chocolate Goo-Goo Cake

  1. Matt Wingett says:

    Shannon, I’ve fallen in love with you. “In fact, it’s wetter than a dirty Aussie bloke’s crotch in Thailand. Like the double entendre there? So bloody clever.” My crotch is wet from pissing myself. xxx

    1. Shannon says:

      Shall we run away to Thailand where your crotch can be free in its wetness?

  2. Emily says:

    Hi, it says flour in the recipe but not in the ingredients list. Is there meant to be flour in this?xx

    1. Shannon says:

      No – that was a fuck up! I will fix it up now, apologies xx

  3. sammiB says:

    Loving ur blog/recipes, but would love to know how ur man responds to them? Mine will begrudgingly eat ‘healthy shit’ like this chocolate cake, (which I love) then he won’t eat them again, because they “taste healthy”.
    Now don’t get me wrong, more cake for me, but I dont wanna be finishing off the lot! Why r blokes so difficult?

    1. Shannon says:

      Blokes are dicks. Let’s just say it.
      My husband enjoys all the food I make, but if I explain the serious health factor, I can see that motherfucker recoil. Pisses me off.
      So, I took it upon myself to inform him that if he continues to eat like a monster and suffer a heart attack or stroke, I won’t be looking after him. I’ll be off on a beach looking hot in my bikini with my new, healthy boyfriend.
      Try that 😉

  4. I do not like the coyo yogurt, it tastes like sour coconuts, yuk…. is there anything else that would suffice?

    1. Shannon says:

      Normal yoghurt would be fine! Sorry – slow reply 😮

  5. Jo Greening says:

    hey is this ok the next day or best eaten straight away? – looking for something for those book club girls who will appreciate a good cake if it comes with a moist crotch. But I need to make Sunday for Monday night. hmmm will it still be as delicious?

    1. Shannon says:

      Yikes, sorry for the painfully slow reply! If you top it with the “icing” it will stay good for a couple of days for sure. Without it, it would become dry. Hope that helps 😀 My cake at a book club – fancy as fuck, I love it. xx

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