Shannon's Kitchen

healthy food. inappropriate language. zero fucks given.

 cookiesformonstersgang

Cookies: y’all have contributed to at least half of the fat on my arse, and I can honestly say, you were worth it. But now that I also have to consider the health of my insides, not just the appeal of my outsides, you fuckers have to shape up or ship out. Flour? Fuck off. Sugar? Fuck off. Butter? …..Well, you’re a good friend, so we can work something out. Now that we have established which pricks aren’t invited to the party, let’s talk about who is. Nuts – you guys are grouse, all of you dudes, you’re in. Good quality chocolate – you make life better and you’re sexy, you’re in. Oats – you’re all-round cleansing winners, you’re in. It’s party time, mates.


Ingredients:

– 1 cup rolled oats

– 1/2 cup desiccated coconut

– 1/2 cup almond meal

– 1/4 teaspoon salt

– 2 tablespoons coconut oil (or melted butter!)

– 3 tablespoons maple syrup (or coconut nectar or rice malt syrup)

– 1 tablespoon water

– 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

– 2 handfuls roasted macadamias, chopped

– 50g of good quality chocolate, chopped into little choc-chip-chunks


Choc that Chip:

– preheat the old oven to 160, and line a baking tray with trusty baking paper

– by now, y’all know I love the food processor, so go on, get him out

– pop your oats, almond meal, desiccated coconut, salt, coconut oil, vanilla and maple syrup in the food processor. Get him cracking for a wee bit, won’t take long

– now, you’ll need to put your thinking cap on: does it need the water? If it’s a bit too stiff and crumbly, add the water in and watch it get a little stickier

– now it’s time to stir in your chocolate and macadamias. Heaven!

– everybody likes to get their hands dirty, so roll up your fancy sleeves and get ready. I spread a little coconut oil on my hands so they become efficient ball-rolling machines. Feel free to copy my excellence because I am excellent. Roll the dough into golf-ball size balls, bang them on the tray, and give those cheeky balls a bit of a squashin’ so they make delicious looking little cookies

– bake those little tigers in the oven for around 18-20 minutes, but please keep an eye on them. Everyone’s oven is different, and some are just plain arseholes. You want the cookies to be golden and lovely

don’t make the horrendous error of tasting one before they have cooled – you will be bitterly disappointed. They need to cool down completely to gain the necessary crunch factor. Please don’t disobey me, as it would end in tears (yours, not mine, I would look on in indignant disapproval)


cookiedirtycloseup

Dedicated to all you cookie monsters,

with love,

Shannon x

One thought on “Choc-Chip Macadamia Cookies Shannie-Style

  1. Josie says:

    These biccies are simply fucking awesome! Made for the kiddies, mummy ate most of them – the true cooky monster that I am!!!!! These will be a regular .. no more store bought full of shit biccys here!
    Thanks Shannon, you rock x

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