Beans, y’all are green, crunchy and healthy, and that’s about the sum of your good qualities. Y’all taste a bit on the shit side, I’m not gonna lie to you. That’s why any sensible person slathers you in copious amounts of delicious butter and salt (what flavour salvation that combo brings, halle-fuckin-lujah). Yet butter and salt, while genius for the tastebuds, is criminal for the vast majority of the rest of our organs. For fuck’s sake, beans, we need another flavour option that doesn’t involve destroying our bodies. Eating y’all plain is not an option: eating plain beans destroys our souls and desire to live. Prepare to be baffled and overjoyed, chums, truffle fucking mustard is here to save the mother-fucking day.
– beans for however many fuckers you’re cooking for
– truffle mustard (expect to pay around $15-20 per 100g but you don’t need to use much at all and it’s fucking worth it. Find it at fancy delicatessens)
– cook the beans to your liking (steam, sauté, boil, whatever)
– then whack on a glob of truffle mustard and toss so it coats every last bit of each bean
– bless me
Truffle mustard, you belong inside ALL of us,