Shannon's Kitchen

healthy food. inappropriate language. zero fucks given.

chocolatefuckincrackles

Pretty much every Aussie kid can remember chomping down on a delicious, crackly hunk of diabetes: chocolate friggin’ crackles. In my day, they were the party drug for 6-year-olds, and god damn it, we were pinging. Have yourself 2 crackles, and my friend, you are set for one hell of a ride. You would be pinning the tail on a rainbow-surfing donkey and then the next thing you know, you’re french kissing that son of a bitch. You’re blowing party blowers like there’s no tomorrow, and you could pass that fucking parcel for 2 days straight. But then you have the come down. Ohhhhhhhhhh. The drop in blood sugar and the associated doom and gloom, the throwing of toys, the senseless rage, the unexplained sores. Strewth. If only we could have the crack(le) hit without the aftermath. We can. Lets be crazy kids again and shamelessly hit the chocolate crack like a pack of half-starved dogs. It’s fucking party time.


Ingredients: makes about 16 little’ns

– 2 cups puffed brown rice

– the smallest, cutest little pinch of salt

– 1/3 cup coconut oil

– 1 tablespoon raw cacao powder (use 2 if you like shit rich)

– 1/4 cup rice malt syrup (or maple syrup or whatever sweetener you like)

– 1/2 cup desiccated coconut


Let’s get crack-a-lackin’:

– get the coconut oil in a saucepan and heat him gently until he liquefies

– whisk your oil, syrup and cocoa together until the brown has overcome the goo in a uniform manner

– chuck in the puffed rice, salt and coconut. Give it a gentle stir so you don’t crush the puffs like you’re the fucking Hulk

– now, spoon that mixture into some patty pans

– get those cheeky little pups into the fridge. Wait until they’re firm, then get that gear inside you

– keep them in the fridge, they turn to shit in warmth


healthifiedchocolatefriggincrackles

Let’s do it, crackwhores,

Shannon x

25 thoughts on “Healthified Chocolate Friggin’ Crackles

  1. Lou-Lou says:

    So. Funny.

  2. cclc1976 says:

    Now I’m definitely a crack whore.

  3. mrsbubbins says:

    Get in my belly…NOW

  4. mrsbubbins says:

    Omg, your mug. I literally just noticed 😂

  5. Mel says:

    ‘We were pinging’…Made my morning.
    Ps. Shannon what’s your take on match a green tea powder going round at the moment? Legit or load of crap?

    1. Shannon says:

      Haha! Glad to hear it, Mel 😉
      As for the Matcha green tea powder – it’s full of antioxidants (like catechins). Green tea has actually been researched quite a bit (thanks to those legendary Japanese), and has shown to have health benefits (such as increasing metabolism and reducing oxidation which gives it anti-cancer properties). Enjoy! x

      1. Mel says:

        Thanks Shannon! Also, just one more question, what about Quest protein bars or tofu as a high protein, low sugar snack? So many good and bad chat on both of them, I don’t know what to think!

      2. Shannon says:

        I have never seen a Quest bar! What are they all about? Just a low-carb bar?

  6. alisondeluca says:

    This is my new favorite blog, and I want to slog through all the posts laughing my ass off instead of getting work done. Thanks v. much!

  7. Liz says:

    I just made these, right now. I’m from NZ so I also remember eating these at birthday parties and taking them for shared lunch at school. This version is super yummy!! And not nearly as questionable as the ones from the 80s made with Kremelta. (Remember Kremelta? Haha).

    1. Shannon says:

      We Aussie fuckers used copha!

      1. Joyce says:

        We made these with Coco puffs in the US .. or my favorite with fruity pebbles. Completely unhealthy and unnatural colors but tasty with all that marshmallow gooeyness

  8. Kev says:

    I’m not sure if I should be concerned about you or propose. I love your style. You make me smile.
    P.S. YUMMMMMM

  9. Kristina says:

    where can I get raw cacao powder?

    1. Shannon says:

      Hey Kristina! I get mine at the health food shop. I haven’t spotted it in the supermarket (yet).
      Cocoa would be fine if you can’t find it!
      (https://shannonskitchen.com/2014/09/11/chocolate-the-shit-and-the-excellent/ the difference between cocoa and cacao can be found in this article)

  10. Jodie Kelly says:

    Do you buy or make the puffed Brown rice? If it’s a’make’, any chance of the recipe?

    1. Shannon says:

      Oh good heavens, Jodie, I bloody buy it.

      1. Jodie says:

        Sweet. Thanks

  11. LJones says:

    I love this! Eh-maz-ing 😂😂

  12. Hilary says:

    Have been LOVING your muffins and cookies. This recipe is next on my to-do list. am not a fan of desiccated coconut though – I can cope with coconut oil but the dessicated stuff makes me want to vom. can I leave it out or replace it with something?

    1. Shannon says:

      It is a bit tickly, I suppose.
      You could take it out! Just add in a few more rice puffs 😀

      1. Hilary Steadman says:

        Bonza, mate. Keep up the good work 😀

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