Chocolate Friggin’ Crackles










Pretty much every Aussie kid can remember chomping down on a delicious, crackly hunk of diabetes: chocolate friggin’ crackles. In my day, they were the party drug for 6-year-olds, and god damn it, we were pinging. Have yourself 2 crackles, and my friend, you are set for one hell of a ride. You would be pinning the tail on a rainbow-surfing donkey and then the next thing you know, you’re french kissing that son of a bitch. You’re blowing party blowers like there’s no tomorrow, and you could pass that fucking parcel for 2 days straight. But then you have the come down. Ohhhhhhhhhh. The drop in blood sugar and the associated doom and gloom, the throwing of toys, the senseless rage, the unexplained sores. Strewth. If only we could have the crack(le) hit without the aftermath. We can. Lets be crazy kids again and shamelessly hit the chocolate crack like a pack of half-starved dogs. It’s fucking party time.

Ingredients: makes about 16 little’ns

– 2 cups puffed brown rice

– the smallest, cutest little pinch of salt

– 1/3 cup coconut oil

– 1 tablespoon raw cacao powder (use 2 if you like shit rich)

– 1/4 cup rice malt syrup (or maple syrup or whatever sweetener you like)

– 1/2 cup desiccated coconut

Let’s get crack-a-lackin’:

– get the coconut oil in a saucepan and heat him gently until he liquefies

– whisk your oil, syrup and cocoa together until the brown has overcome the goo in a uniform manner

– chuck in the puffed rice, salt and coconut. Give it a gentle stir so you don’t crush the puffs like you’re The Fucking Hulk

– now, spoon that mixture into some patty pans

– get those cheeky little pups into the fridge. Wait until they’re firm, then get that gear inside you

– keep them in the fridge, they turn to shit in warmth


Let’s do it, crackwhores,

Shannon x

26 thoughts on “Chocolate Friggin’ Crackles

  1. Hilary

    Have been LOVING your muffins and cookies. This recipe is next on my to-do list. am not a fan of desiccated coconut though – I can cope with coconut oil but the dessicated stuff makes me want to vom. can I leave it out or replace it with something?

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