Gingerbread: Healthy’ish but not heinous

Gingerbread

Healthy eating can pretty much stay the fuck away from Christmas. Let’s be honest. But these gingerbreads are a more nutritious version that DOESN’T suck a giant back of festive dicks. More fiber as a holiday treat for your rectum and less sugar to keep those clean eating fucks out of your grill. Don’t give this shit to Santa though, that poor bearded bugger needs the proper gear. The man deserves sugar, he has jobs on. Never mind that he’s a bit chubby in patches, he needs pure fuel so don’t jerk that red fucker around. Although just quietly I reckon if Santa had a choice of white powders to sustain him for his worldwide delivery mission… sugar wouldn’t be the winner. Anyway, if you want to give this healthy’ish gingerbread a go, here’s how:


Ingredients:

1 cup rolled oats

1 1/2 cups SR flour (gluten-free works fine, and I use it because I’m a tool)

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

125g (1/2 cup) softened butter. YES. Fucking butter. Not margarine or coconut oil

1/4 cup maple syrup

5 pitted Medjool dates (those juicy fresh ones, not the shrivelled-up-dried-teste ones)

1 teaspoon vanilla extract


DO IT:

– Pre heat your oven to 160C.

– Get your trusty food processor out and whack in the oats and dates. Zoom that fucker until it’s all powdery.

– Now add in the cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg, flour, baking powder and just give it a little whizzing to combine.

– Next, add in the softened butter, vanilla extract and maple syrup. Whack the food processor on again. It’ll all smoosh together to a firm’ish dough.

– Once it’s all united, place the dough between two pieces of baking paper and roll it out to about 1/2 centimetre thick. Then use little cookie-cutter thingos to make adorable shapes that will delight your eyeballs.

– Pop those cute little fuckers on a baking tray lined with baking paper and bake for about 20 minutes. Look for them turning a light golden brown and smelling so grouse your nipps begin to tingle.

– Cool them on a rack. If you fancy, you can decorate them with some icing. I let my kids do it because I enjoy pushing my nerves to their last frazzling point. See?

GingerbreadDecos

Merry Christmas, ledgebags!

Love, Shannon x

P.S. My cookbook is being re-stocked for Christmas, preorder now.

P.P.S. Like this recipe? Here’s another for Apple & Oat Muffins.

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