By now you know I fucking love cake. Most women have wet dreams about penis but I have wet dreams about cakes. If I had a choice between riding an amazing dick or riding a high-tea trolley you know which one I’d pick. I’m an animal. What’s handy for me about this recipe is that it’s a single portion — Lord knows I can’t be trusted with an entire cake and I’m only a few slices away from significant thigh chafe. Aside from addressing my greed, this mug cake addresses another issue I have: high cholesterol. It’s made from oats so my cardiologist would be giving me a high five. This easy, nutritious recipe is from Rosie Mansfield’s cookbook Food Hacker and no I didn’t steal it I bloody well asked first because I might be uncouth but I’m not a fucking menace. Ok, I’m a little bit of a menace.
INGREDIENTS: Serves 1
- Coconut oil spray
- 1⁄2 cup rolled oats
- 2 tablespoons cacao powder
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 small pinch stevia (I used a little brown sugar instead because I’m revolting)
- 1 pinch ground cinnamon
- 1⁄2 banana, mashed
- 2 tablespoons Greek-style yoghurt
- 2 tablespoons oat milk (I used cow’s milk because I’d run out of oat milk. Ok, I’m fibbing, I never had oat milk)
- Greek-style yoghurt (I used coconut yoghurt because Greek-style yoghurt on sweets makes me cry)
- Fresh berries
- Sliced banana
Lightly grease a medium mug with coconut oil spray. (Look, Rosie, I’m not going to lie to you — I greased it with butter and I’m ok with it). For the love of peen don’t use a mug with metal on it because that son of a bitch is going in the microwave and the best kind of microwave cookery is the fireless kind.
Whack all the remaining ingredients into a blender and whizz the shit out of it until it’s smooth and well mixed. You might have the scrape the sides down once or twice. That’s the most complicated part of this easy as fuck recipe.
Plop batter into the mug and give your nipps a little tweaking.
Microwave for 2 minutes.
Did you decide on a cheeky topper? If so whack it on and EAT!
This recipe is from Food Hacker by Rosie Mansfield, published by Ebury Australia on 2 July 2018, RRP $29.99. Congratulations on a great book, Rosie!
Enjoy this silly business? Then you might love my brownies. They’re not healthy though, their focus is purely on goddamn flavour.