ABOUT SHANNON’S KITCHEN:
We are starting to realise what we put in our mouths is harming us. And I’m not referring to munging on a diseased set of genitals, I’m talking about food. Food can pump you full of awesome, or it can fuck you right up.
I’m an Australian nurse who is balls deep in a Masters of Nutrition. I’ve personally experienced the change good food can make. After reducing sugar and processed shit, under the care of my doctor, I quickly went from having ovaries as dud as a pair of fucking Crocs* to being so fertile I produced a small human by bloody accident.
Despite the apparent revelation, I’m not a tossbag-food-saint. I eat burgers frequently (yes, even McDonalds, in fact, Ronald is a treasured and respected clown in my home), I drink (at times obscenely), and if I’m eating M&Ms you’re fucking damn right I selected the jumbo pack, because I’m a greedy cunt.
But I subscribe to the 80/20 rule: 80% of the time, I make food choices that are excellent for my hotrod. 20% of the time, I’m an absolute prick to my body, and I say, “Body, take a backseat, you whinging cocksucker, it’s the tastebud’s turn to drive”.
I started creating my own healthy recipes in my kitchen when I grew tired of being porked up the ring by other ‘healthy’ food pages. If a meal leaves you with flaccid nipples and a disappointed sensory experience, then it’s not worthy.
If it’s got unmasked kale in it, then it can most likely go fuck itself.
So, this site is a place for family chefs to find inspiration for healthy meals that give the tastebuds the respect they fucking deserve. You’ll also find articles on health shit. All content will be punctuated with fruity language and inappropriate analogies. So, anyone with feathers that ruffle will have to come to terms with that.
Let’s cook, fuckers!
*These are Crocs, and they are not ok.
P.S. Want to be one of life’s winners and have some healthy shit in your social repertoire? If so, join me on:
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org