This easy as fuck recipe saved the day for me recently. It was a dark day, a day when I felt as though life was a giant penis desperate to enter me and fuck me. I currently have bulged/torn discs in my spine and am frequently in the mood to punch faces and/or necks. The smallest of life tasks become a horror. Backing one out is interesting. Twisting around to wipe? Oh, mercy. I would be tempted to skip wiping entirely, but I do my own washing so I can’t just let it dry on and crust off later. No, no, future me would be FURIOUS. So I must press on. Socks? No, just no. And sex is impossible – if Mr Shannon came at me with his whistle out I would club that thing like a baby seal. Lucky there is delicious food like these rippers to save the darkest of days.