My literary dick-punch to the clean eating craze: for Glamour UK

You don’t need to be on a diet to be healthy, and there is nothing dirty about food (unless you eat a donut stuck around someone’s knob, that would be a bit dirty).

“Many clean-eating advocates make the nonsensical declaration that ‘it’s not a diet, it’s a lifestyle’. Umm, you’re not allowed to eat certain foods, therefore it’s a fucking diet, mate. They avoid mentioning the word ‘diet’ through a relentless commitment to and misappropriation of the term ‘wellness’. Wellness crept up on us like a hairy-backed, sweaty horndog at a club: stealthily and with a motive to screw us.”

Read the fucking fabulous article in Glamour UK here.