Banana-Date Bonanza Cakes


Once upon a time, I was abroad and had to piss in one of those ‘hole in the floor’ toilets. The ground surrounding it was epically, disturbingly moist. I was nervous about getting others’ (and my own) urine on my pantaloons, so I fully removed my pants and hung them on the back of the door. Genius move, Shannon, I smugly thought. WRONG. I neglected to lock the fucking door and some poor bastard opened it to find me naked from the waist down pissing in a hole. So, moisture isn’t always welcome and can lead to mayhem. But in the case of these ripping little cakes, it is welcome and wonderful. I love these cakes, and there’s fuck all added sugar in these little blighters, thanks to the ultimate power couple: Banana and Date. This winning duo produces a caramel flavour that is irresistibly grouse, and adds minerals, vitamins, fibre and phytonutrients. These are fucking winners, people.


– 2 overripe bananas

– 1/4 cup coconut oil

– 15 dates

– 1/2 teaspoon bicarb soda

-1/4 cup boiling water

– 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

– 2 tablespoons maple syrup

– 2 eggs, lightly beaten

– 1 1/2 cup almond meal

– 1/2 teaspoon salt

– 1/2 cup rolled oats

-1 tablespoon chia seeds

– 1/2 teaspoon baking powder

  It’s bonanza time:

– bang the oven on at 160C

– pit and chop the dates. Pop them in a mug and sprinkle the bicarb soda over them. Then pour over the boiling water. Allow to sit for 5 minutes

– combine the bananas, coconut oil, vanilla extract, maple syrup in a food processor and give it a good whizzing. Then add in the date mixture, chia seeds and oats and re-whizz. Then stir the eggs through this sloppy, sweet goo

– in a large bowl, combine the almond meal, salt and baking powder.

– pour in the juicy goo and give it a stir

– line a muffin tin with those cute little muffin papers, then spoon the mixture in. Fill them to the top as they will not rise. They are not Jesus. You’ll get between 10-12 muffins out of the brew

– cook those delicious little fellas for 18-20 minutes. The top should look lightly golden and if you insert a skewer it will come out clean, despite the cakes feeling quite soft to the touch. Leave them in the tin for 5 minutes then pop on a cake rack to cool their jets

– get them in your belly or that of your little human

 This one excites me, people.

Shannon x