Fluff-Cakes: Flourless Pancakes

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In my quest for healthy comfort food, I have tried some ‘healthy’ pancake recipes. Like the one that is just eggs and bananas. Tried that. They’re ok, but they’re not fucking pancakes. They’re eggs, with banana in it. It’s just fucking offensive. I hate being lied to. Don’t put a banana on my plate with a bit of fucking egg in it and tell me it’s a fucking pancake. That’s what shits me about a lot of ‘healthy’ food pages. The recipes taste like fucking healthy food, and don’t get me started on the textures. It angers me. So I harnessed my pancake-rage and turned it to focus. I got Mum on the blower, “give it to me straight, Mum, what’s in those crack-cakes you call pancakes”. Turns out it was fuckloads of sugar, butter, eggs and flour. No wonder they’re so delicious. I played around with it, and tested it on my unsuspecting toddler (sucks to be him). This is where we are at – and people: it’s good. The texture isn’t flawless, but they’re healthy, tasty, fluffy and easy. I’m not fucking with you.


Ingredients:

– 1 1/4 cup almond meal (if you’re not gluten-free, use 1/4 cup wholemeal flour in lieu of the extra 1/4 cup almond meal, for extra fluff)

– 3/4 teaspoon baking powder

– 1/4 teaspoon salt

– 3 eggs

– 1/4 cup coconut milk (or whatever milk you fancy)

– 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

– 1 tablespoon coconut oil (or macadamia oil or melted butter)

– 2 tablespoons honey


Get fluffin’:

– get yo’ fuckin’ blender out

– pop all the wet stuff in the blender and whizz it until it’s combined

– now get your dry bits in on the action

– whizz it for a minute or so. In fact, whizz the shit out of it

– get a frypan heating up over a medium heat

– now, when it comes to greasing the ol’ frypan, you have a couple of options. The superior flavour option is without a doubt, fucking butter. But, coconut oil is pretty good too. I use butter because I’m dirty and excellent

– pour the batter into the pan making pancakes of about 8cm diameter. Don’t be tempted to make them too big, because, like a heavy rooting partner, they’ll be too hard to flip

– the downside of these little champs is that they burn easily. So keep an eye on the little pricks. They’ll need turning in 1-2 minutes. The other side will cook pretty quick so just watch

– now serve those Fluff-cakes up nude, or with maple syrup, or with fruit. Put fucking cream and jam on them if you want, it’s in your hands


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I’m on your team, fluffballs.

Truthfully yours,

Shannon x


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