Margarine is bullshit

ImageMargarine is bullshit.

Men might like it because it doesn’t make you work to spread it – completely understandable. Perhaps women like its supposed health benefits. But it is bullshit. It tastes like shit and it is damn unhealthy. 

Margarine is usually made from unsaturated vegetables oils like canola or olive oil, which are generally healthier than saturated oils. However, the health benefits of these oils are lost in processing, as the structure of the oil is completely changed when it is turned from liquid to solid. It started out alright, got interfered with, and got clapped out. Like this poor bloody dog.

It started out a cute, natural dog.

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Then people fucked with it.

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Now it’s different. It’s changed. Shit got weird, and it’s not ok.

That’s what margarine is like. It started out just fine – a healthy oil. Then people fucked with it. It’s different. It’s changed. It got weird, and it’s not ok.

Margarine used to be produced through hydrogenation, resulting in the formation of trans fats. They are loved by commercial industries because they are very stable and increase foods’ shelf life. They’re probably as tasty as all hell, too. Then after decades of community use, it was discovered and revealed that these fats are friggin’ nasty. Real jerks. They mess up your cholesterol levels and have been linked to inflammatory disorders and even cancer. Pump the brakes, trans fats, you’re out of control.

Australia has started to crack down on trans fats, reducing the use of hydrogenation and commencing another process: interesterification. Interesterification produces artificial fat molecules not found in nature, but its use results in a product with significantly less trans fats. But they’re no knights in lubricated, shining, greased armour. Studies have found that interesterified fats adversely alter cholesterol (LDL/HDL) levels too, as well as disturbing blood sugar balance (if you’re interested to read a study about this, click here). So as well as cocking up your cholesterol, it may increase your risk of developing diabetes. Dia-bloody-betes?! Well that’s no damn good. Like with those pricks, trans fats, other adverse health effects may expose themselves over time.

Why would you risk damaging your precious rig for something as disappointing and flaccid as margarine? Butter may have high saturated fat, but it is natural and it tastes amazing. If I encountered a hungry cannibal, and they set their sights on my meaty thighs, I would halt them pre-slaughter and insist that they baste me in butter. Because I’m worth it,

Shannon x

P.S. Check that your butter is pure. Its ingredients should be ‘cream, water, salt’ only, no additives or preservatives. Do it right.

READING FOR NERDBURGERS:

Gebauer, S., Psota, T. & Kris-Etherton, P. 2007, ‘The diversity of health effects of individual trans fatty acid isomers’, Lipids, Vol 42 Iss 9. Available at http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11745-007-3095-8

Harder, B. 2007, ‘A trans fat substitute might have health risks too’, Science News. Available at https://www.sciencenews.org/blog/food-thought/trans-fat-substitute-might-have-health-risks-too

Karupaiah, T & Sundram K. 2007, ‘ Effects of stereospecific positioning of fatty acids in triacylglycerol structures in native and randomized fats: a review of their nutritional implications’, Nutrition & Metabolism, Vol 4 Iss 16. Available at http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1947992/

Micha, R. et al. 2010, ‘Food sources of individual plasma phospholipid trans fatty acid isomers: the Cardiovascular Health Study’, The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. Vol 91 No 4. Available at http://ajcn.nutrition.org/content/91/4/883.full.pdf+html

Sundram, K, Karupaiah, T. & Hayes, K. 2007, ‘ Stearic acid-rich interesterified fat and trans-rich fat raise the LDL/HDL ratio and plasma glucose relative to palm olein in humans’, Nutrition & Metabolism, Vol 4 Iss 3. Available at http://www.nutritionandmetabolism.com/content/4/1/3